Myth #1: “Your family looks so happy & well-adjusted. Things must be going wonderfully at home!”
Please understand…the way things look on the outside (a.k.a. “in public”) may not the best indicator of what’s really happening on the inside (a.k.a. “at home”).Things seem great in public because it’s easier/safer there. What I mean is, “public” relationships are surface level. This means the child feels safe and secure (no one’s getting too close). That translates to a happy, well-behaved child. And, let’s be realistic here…even a non-adoptive family doesn’t air all their dirty laundry in public, right? ;)
At Linville Falls
Myth #2: “Adoption is HARD and only certain people should do it.”
Yes. Adoption IS hard. But those who adopt aren’t special. If I’ve learned anything through this process, it’s how weak my weakness really is. And how MUCH I need Jesus. Without Him, nothing is possible. Before this (I’m ashamed to admit) I felt like I sort of had this Christian walk thing down. Now, I see I’ve got NOTHING without Him.
This is real. Yes, we’re tired. But happy! ;)
Myth #3: “I have other kids. Adopting will be too hard on them/ruin their lives.”
We knew going into the adoption process that this was a family decision. It was going to effect all of us. And, though it’s been hard, it has grown our family in ways we never would have imagined possible. For that, we are eternally grateful.
I’m sure there are many other myths true for other families. I can only speak for mine. My main reason for writing this post is to provide some food for thought…
If you know an adoptive family and they seem to have fallen off the face of the earth or pulled back majorly, maybe it’s because they’re going through some major adjustments as a family. Don’t write them off as MIA. Just understand they’re working on building this new version of their family. And they can use all the friends they can get. (And, in our case, being at home is just currently a whole lot easier still than committing to a lot of outside activities).
I have a sweet friend (Patty ) who’s the mom of 4 boys and personally understands adoption because she’s walked that road a few times herself. I value her so much because she knows we’re still friends–even if we don’t see each other NEARLY as much as we did before. ;) She completely understands what it’s like to pull back and focus on family. Thanks for that, Patty.
Anyway, hope this helps answer some general questions. But, to be honest, Sam and I pretty much don’t know anything (and we’re well aware of that!) ;) We’re just trusting God to give us what we need when we need it.